This session was taught (excellently by the way) by Sencery. She got this to me a LONG time ago and has probably been wondering why in the world I haven't published it yet. I don't have an answer. Here it is...FINALLY!
Session 2: Be Still and Hear
Numbers 9:8
My two year old son has gotten into the habit of holding my face tightly between his little hands, placing his nose to my nose, and saying, “Mommy, do you HEAR me?” I assure him that I do hear him, but he keeps asking me over and over again; not only does he ask me the same question multiple times, he gets increasingly louder each time he asks. To me, this demonstrates the “be still and hear” concept very well; I believe he has mastered it. Step one: Grab the face so that movement is no longer an option (be still...); Step two: Repeat yourself while getting increasingly louder so that not hearing would be impossible (and hear...).
As adults, I am sure you have probably heard, if not used, the following phrase when trying to communicate with certain people: “I know you HEAR me, but are you LISTENING?” Most of the time you can tell when someone is hearing you because there is usually some change in facial expression, body language, or some type of verbal response. How do you know that they actually listened? You wait to see if there are actions that follow. So when the Bible talks about “Be still and hear...”, does that mean we freeze in place and strain our ears until we hear Him? Not quite...
In the book of Numbers, chapter 9, Moses and the Israelites are in the wilderness of Sinai. Numbers 9:1-2 says, “Now the Lord spoke to Moses in the wilderness of Sinai, in the first month of the second year after they had come out of the land of Egypt, saying: ‘Let the children of Israel keep the Passover at its appointed time.’” In the Old Testament, in order to have a relationship with God, the Israelites had to follow the Law. Even when they followed the Law, they couldn’t have a direct relationship with God; they had to go through a third party. If they wanted to keep their relationship with God in good standing and be pleasing to Him, they had to be obedient and observe all the rules, rites, and ceremonies that were required of them. A lot to deal with, but they did it to the best of their ability because they had a heart for God and wanted to be in relationship with Him. However, there were some Israelites who were disqualified. They had the desire to be obedient and to observe the Passover, but the rules were keeping them from it. Numbers 9:6-7 says, “Now there were certain men who were defiled by a human corpse, so that they could not keep the Passover on that day; and they came before Moses and Aaron that day. And those men said to him, ‘We became defiled by a human corpse. Why are we kept from presenting the offering of the Lord at its appointed time among the children of Israel?’” They wanted to do the right thing, but because of their circumstance they were prohibited. I don’t know how they came in contact with the dead body – I’m sure they weren’t playing a game of dare where they decided whoever touched the dead body was the coolest – but that dead body got in the way of their worship of God.
So what did these men do? Did they storm the Holy of Holies in the inner room of the tabernacle and begin making their case before God? Nope – then they would have been dead bodies. The step they had to take was to go to Moses, their leader, and Aaron, the priest, and have them bring their circumstance before God. Numbers 9:8 says, “And Moses said to them, ‘Stand still, that I may hear what the Lord will command concerning you.’” The Message Bible puts it this way, “Moses said, ‘Give me some time; I’ll find out what God says in your circumstances.’” The Bible doesn’t tell us how long they had to wait for an answer to their dilemma; but they did have to wait. The Hebrew word for “still” in that verse means “again, repeatedly, still, more”. They were probably like children in the backseat of a car on a long trip asking, “Are we there yet?” – patience isn’t naturally occurring in the flesh. The Hebrew word for “hear” in that verse means “to hear intelligently, often with the implication of attention, obedience, etc.”. In verse 9, the answer is given, “Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, ‘Speak to the children of Israel, saying: ‘If anyone of you or your posterity is unclean because of a corpse, or is far away on a journey, he may still keep the Lord’s Passover. On the fourteenth day of the second month, at twilight, they may keep it.’” The defiled Israelites heard what the Lord said through Moses – there was a way for them to maintain their relationship with God despite the circumstances they found themselves in – and they listened by observing the Passover as they were told.
So what does that have to do with us? We aren’t under the law; through Jesus Christ we have direct access to God – a personal relationship with no third party. We don’t have to worry about being defiled by a dead body and not being able to attend church or fellowship with other believers because of it. But... are there things in our lives that hinder our relationship with God? Things that affect how pleasing we are to Him? Do we find ourselves in situations or with circumstances that separate us from God? I’m not necessarily talking about some blatant, neon-sign sin; just anything that is out of His will; that is not according to His instructions in His Word for us. I know I can think of many things that I have in my life that battle for my time and attention every day. If I give them priority and let them keep pushing my prayer time, Bible-reading time, devotional time, or quiet time with God later into the day until I fall into bed and realize I have put Him at the bottom of my list – that hinders my relationship with Him. Our circumstances in everyday life can sometimes separate us from Him; but the good news is that we can talk directly to our Father and tell him about our circumstances (confess), apologize, and try it again (repent). Isn’t God awesome?
When we work on our relationship with God (yes, I said work – you have to make a focused effort in any relationship you have or it dies), there are times when, like the Israelites, we have to be still and hear what the Lord is saying to us. Being still/waiting is difficult – especially when our circumstances may be worsening as we wait. But our faith that God is who He says He is, and that He is our provider, stronghold, shield, and covering, is what helps us be still when our flesh is screaming otherwise (are we there yet????). Once we hear what He says to us, it is our turn to let Him know we are listening. How do we do that? In our Christian walk, there are many times we say, “I know what the Bible tells me to do.” So we definitely hear God speaking to us through His Word. However, how does God know that we are listening? Colossians 1:10 says, “that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;” The fruit will show up in your life.
So whether you are coming out of a situation, in the middle of a situation, or getting ready to enter a situation (that would be all of us, right?), remember to be still. Then, when you do hear, make sure you listen!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Be Still and Sleep
The following is another post (actually it's two) from my personal blog. It's something that was on my mind during our session but there wasn't time to relate the story and it wasn't necessary to our weekend. Sharing the details on our blog however, gives me opportunity to share a little more and I hope you don't mind my taking license to do so. These were written in February of 2007 about Ivan who would have been almost 15 months at the time. I am sharing because I think it reflects our need to be still as children of God. Just like I shared about Moses being able to still the people because he had a knowledge of God's faithfulness, we must be able to still ourselves knowing that He is our caring Father and our reigning King.
This has been a hard day. I love being a parent, and I love my children, but today was one of those testing days where you wonder if you're qualified and if maybe you should have been licensed before signing up to be a caregiver to such young and fragile creatures.
Ivan was sick yesterday, low fever part of the day but gone this morning. After taking him from his crib and holding him a while I noticed his breathing was strained and he was just miserable and exhausted. I prayed and held him all day. I got him some great stuff at Orbit per Becky's suggestion and I know it's helping, but results aren't swift, at least not as swift as I'd like, and all day I've been questioning everything. Should I take him to the doctor? Should I give him this? Should I keep him from eating that? What if he's really ill?..what if it's more serious than I'm aware?..what if?..what if?..what if?..was the mantra, and I had to banish it under my feet constantly.
One of the drawbacks of being a somewhat creative person is that my mind not only comes up with good stories or witty things to say, it also festers with dramatic scenarios of pain and suffering. I can imagine things that no one should ever dwell on and today those images were almost constant. Cast your cares on Him...I would remind myself, take every thought captive...By His stripes Ivan is healed...at least the arsenal is ready when needed. It's just exhausting to fight myself all day. He did have a fever again after his nap and I did call the doctors office and the nurse suggested a few things to do and said if he's not better by morning to bring him in. He will be better by morning. I trust that God will bless him abundantly as he sleeps tonight.
I feel better just writing it out. All evening after putting the little guy to bed I have felt confident that tomorrow would be a much better day and therefore the title of this post...if this day ended early I could move on to tomorrow.
Habakkuk 3:18 "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
After posting last night I still had a long way until morning. Kris and I listened and debated what to do with our little wheezing baby. Of course it got worse as night fell and I began to get scared. Should I take him to the ER? I really didn't want to do that. At one point I decided to try sitting up with him thinking that an upright position would help him breath more freely. He did do much better that way but let it be known about 30 minutes later that the bed was where he wanted to be. His cough was almost constant so we did end up giving him a bit of over-the-counter medicine for that and he did stop coughing for a few hours which I think helped him with his breathing as well.
I was a wreck. Now, from where I slept I couldn't hear the coughing which was my only signal that he was actually breathing at all. I had prayed earlier and told God that I needed Him to care for Ivan, I gave Ivan over to God and asked Him to be his Father. I told Him that I trusted Him and that I would do whatever He told me to do. Would you believe that God told me to go to bed and then challenged my earlier resignation? "If you trust me...don't check on him."
"What?! How can I sleep?" I questioned.
I struggled, but believed I had heard from God, and that it was more important that I be obedient and show my trust than to worry over my baby and hover over his bed every thirty minutes. For me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, when the lights go out and I am tired it is much harder to control my emotions. I was in anguish, and finally got up and physically knelt to pray for peace if I was going to be obedient.
I seriously felt like Ivan could die in those moments. How could I just lie in bed and not make sure that he was still breathing? I finally resigned my position and let God be God...telling myself all the true things about God's love, His power, His mercy, His constant care was not what helped me. I had to resign to His position. He is King and I had to obey. It was strange, but all the other stuff became believable when I submitted to Him as LORD. I laid my head on my pillow and I slept.
Ivan did wake up about three times, crying and I went to him to comfort him, give him his pacifier and cover him up again. Each time, his forehead felt a little cooler, his breathing a bit more peaceful until at 4:00 a.m. he was cool and his breathing just slightly heavy.
I felt victorious. I felt like I could now trust God for anything. It was as if I had to leave Ivan with Him for the night and not interrupt whatever process God was using to make him better and I felt truly grateful for His care.
Ivan was still a bit ill all day today but leaps and bounds better than yesterday. No fever today and his breathing, though heavy, was never bad enough to cause me concern. He just sounded congested. He didn't cough as much, didn't need as much attention and even laughed a few times. I laid him in his crib with confidence tonight, knowing that His heavenly Daddy would be watching over him constantly.
This has been a hard day. I love being a parent, and I love my children, but today was one of those testing days where you wonder if you're qualified and if maybe you should have been licensed before signing up to be a caregiver to such young and fragile creatures.
Ivan was sick yesterday, low fever part of the day but gone this morning. After taking him from his crib and holding him a while I noticed his breathing was strained and he was just miserable and exhausted. I prayed and held him all day. I got him some great stuff at Orbit per Becky's suggestion and I know it's helping, but results aren't swift, at least not as swift as I'd like, and all day I've been questioning everything. Should I take him to the doctor? Should I give him this? Should I keep him from eating that? What if he's really ill?..what if it's more serious than I'm aware?..what if?..what if?..what if?..was the mantra, and I had to banish it under my feet constantly.
One of the drawbacks of being a somewhat creative person is that my mind not only comes up with good stories or witty things to say, it also festers with dramatic scenarios of pain and suffering. I can imagine things that no one should ever dwell on and today those images were almost constant. Cast your cares on Him...I would remind myself, take every thought captive...By His stripes Ivan is healed...at least the arsenal is ready when needed. It's just exhausting to fight myself all day. He did have a fever again after his nap and I did call the doctors office and the nurse suggested a few things to do and said if he's not better by morning to bring him in. He will be better by morning. I trust that God will bless him abundantly as he sleeps tonight.
I feel better just writing it out. All evening after putting the little guy to bed I have felt confident that tomorrow would be a much better day and therefore the title of this post...if this day ended early I could move on to tomorrow.
Habakkuk 3:18 "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
After posting last night I still had a long way until morning. Kris and I listened and debated what to do with our little wheezing baby. Of course it got worse as night fell and I began to get scared. Should I take him to the ER? I really didn't want to do that. At one point I decided to try sitting up with him thinking that an upright position would help him breath more freely. He did do much better that way but let it be known about 30 minutes later that the bed was where he wanted to be. His cough was almost constant so we did end up giving him a bit of over-the-counter medicine for that and he did stop coughing for a few hours which I think helped him with his breathing as well.
I was a wreck. Now, from where I slept I couldn't hear the coughing which was my only signal that he was actually breathing at all. I had prayed earlier and told God that I needed Him to care for Ivan, I gave Ivan over to God and asked Him to be his Father. I told Him that I trusted Him and that I would do whatever He told me to do. Would you believe that God told me to go to bed and then challenged my earlier resignation? "If you trust me...don't check on him."
"What?! How can I sleep?" I questioned.
I struggled, but believed I had heard from God, and that it was more important that I be obedient and show my trust than to worry over my baby and hover over his bed every thirty minutes. For me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, when the lights go out and I am tired it is much harder to control my emotions. I was in anguish, and finally got up and physically knelt to pray for peace if I was going to be obedient.
I seriously felt like Ivan could die in those moments. How could I just lie in bed and not make sure that he was still breathing? I finally resigned my position and let God be God...telling myself all the true things about God's love, His power, His mercy, His constant care was not what helped me. I had to resign to His position. He is King and I had to obey. It was strange, but all the other stuff became believable when I submitted to Him as LORD. I laid my head on my pillow and I slept.
Ivan did wake up about three times, crying and I went to him to comfort him, give him his pacifier and cover him up again. Each time, his forehead felt a little cooler, his breathing a bit more peaceful until at 4:00 a.m. he was cool and his breathing just slightly heavy.
I felt victorious. I felt like I could now trust God for anything. It was as if I had to leave Ivan with Him for the night and not interrupt whatever process God was using to make him better and I felt truly grateful for His care.
Ivan was still a bit ill all day today but leaps and bounds better than yesterday. No fever today and his breathing, though heavy, was never bad enough to cause me concern. He just sounded congested. He didn't cough as much, didn't need as much attention and even laughed a few times. I laid him in his crib with confidence tonight, knowing that His heavenly Daddy would be watching over him constantly.
Friday, April 1, 2011
The Adventure of Stillness
The following is copied straight from my personal blog, "Calico Dreams." It's where I write day to day stuff, limericks every Friday and once and a while a little bit of what God is doing in my heart. I used one of these paragraphs in our retreat flier in hopes of enticing you to join us for the retreat and at the end of the post is a story I told those of you who were here. Again...this is so you can refer back to it again should you desire to.
______________________________________________________________________________
Adventure:
–noun
a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.
I'm not typically very adventurous. I don't like risk. I like steady, calm and faithful. I like having fun, I am somewhat curious and I enjoy spontaneity a great deal, but if it involves even the slightest possibility of losing something important to me, I'm not going to get involved. Adventure to me is a trip somewhere completely new with nothing but an extra pair of underwear and a toothbrush in my carry on. I would have to get what I need and fly by the seat of my pants, meeting people, asking questions and discovering things that aren't on the brochure. I guess to me adventure is more on the side of a scavenger hunt than a bear hunt. I don't want to have to find anything that might just be looking for me too.
Kris and I are a bit different in this category. To him a trip like I described is more risk than he wants to take. It sets his planners brain on edge and causes him to wrap his dollar bills more tightly inside his wallet. He can think of multiple scenarios where this sort of adventure could be disastrous and his only goal is to get out of the situation as quickly and at as low a cost as possible. Yet, he'd happily jump out of an airplane if given the opportunity.
Regardless of what our differing definitions of adventure are, neither of them seem to blend well with the idea of stillness. Stillness is defined as: silence; quiet; hush. How can adventure be associated with these descriptions? I want to tell you so bad!
I mentioned in a previous post that I am intrigued and fascinated by the idea of stillness, what it means beyond it's definition, what it means to me as a Christian. The Bible tells me that being still is a pre-requisite to knowing that He is God in Psalm 46:10. Doesn't that make you want stillness? It does me. Exodus 14:13 and Joshua 3:8 show us stillness was a command of God before He parted the waters for Moses and his Protégé. Before many of God's great miracles, before much of His instruction, in the midst of many revelations we read about stillness. Even His voice is described in I Kings 19:12 as still and small. He leads us by still waters in Psalm 23 (you knew I had to mention it), He defeats armies (II Chronicles 20:17) with stillness and causes a young woman to secure her future (Ruth 3:18). Stillness is what Jesus commanded of the sea (Mark 4:39), and became His posture when hearing of his friend Lazarus' illness (John 11:6). Our God is a fan of stillness and when I think more on the topic I think of our own practices and the many ways God uses stillness to prove Himself. Our faith determines our stillness. Our stillness determines His action.
Stillness can seem like an exercise in foolishness. It is a vulnerability that few are willing to risk. Why do we not see more miracles? We are not still. Why don't we hear God's voice? We are not still. What could God do in us if we reserved our own desires, our own strength and traded our restlessness for the supernatural quiet of stillness?
The Psalmist made mention many times his need for stillness, to trust in God enough to remain vulnerable in the situation he was in. This call to stillness can feel like a death sentence, it can feel like a command to become a stoic monument to foolishness. Stillness is not encouraged in this life, there are few examples of it. We are a society on the move, we are a people of action and stillness doesn’t stand out as a mentionable criteria for success.
Yet there is a continuous thread in the Word of God directing us toward that hush, where God’s voice is heard more clearly, that quiet where His songs over us enable us to dance, and that silence where His Spirit so willingly approaches us to comfort and encourage. It is a necessary ingredient to witnessing the miraculous and a powerful factor in experiencing His grace. In order to experience God, we must at some point become still.
But how? As a mom it's nearly impossible to find those pockets of quiet in our days. It's difficult to schedule in the ever wavering moods and actions of little ones. It's even harder to seclude ourselves and truly find a quiet place and time. I treasure those moments when I find them and I know many of you do as well. I think they are crucial and I hope I never take them for granted once the little voices are no longer attempting to overpower the still and small one in my heart.
I do believe that "quiet times" are something to seek and strive for but God showed me something last night that encouraged me so much. In my quest to continue as faithful in the road I find myself lately, I am constantly asking if I'm in the right place. Have I missed anything? Show me where I am and for me personally I often ask for a picture. My understanding is enlightened and impacted more profoundly with visual remembrances or stories that communicate God's messages. He often obliges me and I'm so grateful.
Last night I recalled a situation many years ago when I was still traveling with Images. We were staying on the beach between two bookings in the area and had a few days of free time to spend as we wished. One of these days we decided to rent wave runners and take them out on the gulf and have a little fun. It was incredible. I have never had so much fun with a motorized vehicle since. I've taken wave runners on the lake before and though it is very fun, there is nothing like the waves of a huge body of water that can give you that rush. I asked the guy we were renting from, how far out into the gulf can we go? He said 1 mile was as far as he would want anyone to take them. I asked how we would know when we had gone a mile and he replied, when you can't see the people on the beach anymore. You've gone too far. So I did it. After playing around for a little while and becoming comfortable on the machine I headed out to sea. I turned around every now and then to see how far I had gotten and though I felt like I had been driving forever, I could still see clearly, the crowd on the sand. I kept going and finally even though I could still make out colors, sizes, shapes and even actions of the people on shore I stopped and something like fear gripped me. It wasn't the depth of the sea beneath me, the size of the body of water wasn't any more impressive to me from where I was, it was the stillness that shook me. I could hear nothing of the laughter and noise from the shore. I could hear myself breathing and I could hear the water hitting the sides of the wave runner, I could hear the motor running smoothly, but I couldn't hear the rest of the world, and I knew that were I to scream at the top of my lungs...they couldn't hear me either. I reasoned with myself that nothing was going to happen but I couldn't stay. I had to get back to the bustle of civilization. I rode hard and eventually shook off the shiver that had come to the back of my neck.
Last night I knew that I was there again. Out in the wilderness so to speak, I am somewhat alone there and the distance between me and normalcy is uncomfortable. I can see the danger of where I am and as I realized the similarity in my current circumstance and my long ago ride on the gulf I said, "God, bad things do happen to people in situations like that. People do have accidents, run out of gas, fall, and they even die." He said, "but you didn't." And He was right. It suddenly came to me that He is not trying to test my faith or help me overcome any fear, those are side items on His agenda. He is drawing me toward the adventure of stillness. How great is His presence when no other presence is available? How clear is His voice, when no other voice can reach me? How big are the opportunities that no one else is still enough to listen for?
Stillness isn't only a quiet place to commune with God, it is also the places we reach when we have dared to follow Him past our fear and pain. It is not the end of a journey, but it is definitely the most adventurous path to take.
______________________________________________________________________________
Adventure:
–noun
a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.
I'm not typically very adventurous. I don't like risk. I like steady, calm and faithful. I like having fun, I am somewhat curious and I enjoy spontaneity a great deal, but if it involves even the slightest possibility of losing something important to me, I'm not going to get involved. Adventure to me is a trip somewhere completely new with nothing but an extra pair of underwear and a toothbrush in my carry on. I would have to get what I need and fly by the seat of my pants, meeting people, asking questions and discovering things that aren't on the brochure. I guess to me adventure is more on the side of a scavenger hunt than a bear hunt. I don't want to have to find anything that might just be looking for me too.
Kris and I are a bit different in this category. To him a trip like I described is more risk than he wants to take. It sets his planners brain on edge and causes him to wrap his dollar bills more tightly inside his wallet. He can think of multiple scenarios where this sort of adventure could be disastrous and his only goal is to get out of the situation as quickly and at as low a cost as possible. Yet, he'd happily jump out of an airplane if given the opportunity.
Regardless of what our differing definitions of adventure are, neither of them seem to blend well with the idea of stillness. Stillness is defined as: silence; quiet; hush. How can adventure be associated with these descriptions? I want to tell you so bad!
I mentioned in a previous post that I am intrigued and fascinated by the idea of stillness, what it means beyond it's definition, what it means to me as a Christian. The Bible tells me that being still is a pre-requisite to knowing that He is God in Psalm 46:10. Doesn't that make you want stillness? It does me. Exodus 14:13 and Joshua 3:8 show us stillness was a command of God before He parted the waters for Moses and his Protégé. Before many of God's great miracles, before much of His instruction, in the midst of many revelations we read about stillness. Even His voice is described in I Kings 19:12 as still and small. He leads us by still waters in Psalm 23 (you knew I had to mention it), He defeats armies (II Chronicles 20:17) with stillness and causes a young woman to secure her future (Ruth 3:18). Stillness is what Jesus commanded of the sea (Mark 4:39), and became His posture when hearing of his friend Lazarus' illness (John 11:6). Our God is a fan of stillness and when I think more on the topic I think of our own practices and the many ways God uses stillness to prove Himself. Our faith determines our stillness. Our stillness determines His action.
Stillness can seem like an exercise in foolishness. It is a vulnerability that few are willing to risk. Why do we not see more miracles? We are not still. Why don't we hear God's voice? We are not still. What could God do in us if we reserved our own desires, our own strength and traded our restlessness for the supernatural quiet of stillness?
The Psalmist made mention many times his need for stillness, to trust in God enough to remain vulnerable in the situation he was in. This call to stillness can feel like a death sentence, it can feel like a command to become a stoic monument to foolishness. Stillness is not encouraged in this life, there are few examples of it. We are a society on the move, we are a people of action and stillness doesn’t stand out as a mentionable criteria for success.
Yet there is a continuous thread in the Word of God directing us toward that hush, where God’s voice is heard more clearly, that quiet where His songs over us enable us to dance, and that silence where His Spirit so willingly approaches us to comfort and encourage. It is a necessary ingredient to witnessing the miraculous and a powerful factor in experiencing His grace. In order to experience God, we must at some point become still.
But how? As a mom it's nearly impossible to find those pockets of quiet in our days. It's difficult to schedule in the ever wavering moods and actions of little ones. It's even harder to seclude ourselves and truly find a quiet place and time. I treasure those moments when I find them and I know many of you do as well. I think they are crucial and I hope I never take them for granted once the little voices are no longer attempting to overpower the still and small one in my heart.
I do believe that "quiet times" are something to seek and strive for but God showed me something last night that encouraged me so much. In my quest to continue as faithful in the road I find myself lately, I am constantly asking if I'm in the right place. Have I missed anything? Show me where I am and for me personally I often ask for a picture. My understanding is enlightened and impacted more profoundly with visual remembrances or stories that communicate God's messages. He often obliges me and I'm so grateful.
Last night I recalled a situation many years ago when I was still traveling with Images. We were staying on the beach between two bookings in the area and had a few days of free time to spend as we wished. One of these days we decided to rent wave runners and take them out on the gulf and have a little fun. It was incredible. I have never had so much fun with a motorized vehicle since. I've taken wave runners on the lake before and though it is very fun, there is nothing like the waves of a huge body of water that can give you that rush. I asked the guy we were renting from, how far out into the gulf can we go? He said 1 mile was as far as he would want anyone to take them. I asked how we would know when we had gone a mile and he replied, when you can't see the people on the beach anymore. You've gone too far. So I did it. After playing around for a little while and becoming comfortable on the machine I headed out to sea. I turned around every now and then to see how far I had gotten and though I felt like I had been driving forever, I could still see clearly, the crowd on the sand. I kept going and finally even though I could still make out colors, sizes, shapes and even actions of the people on shore I stopped and something like fear gripped me. It wasn't the depth of the sea beneath me, the size of the body of water wasn't any more impressive to me from where I was, it was the stillness that shook me. I could hear nothing of the laughter and noise from the shore. I could hear myself breathing and I could hear the water hitting the sides of the wave runner, I could hear the motor running smoothly, but I couldn't hear the rest of the world, and I knew that were I to scream at the top of my lungs...they couldn't hear me either. I reasoned with myself that nothing was going to happen but I couldn't stay. I had to get back to the bustle of civilization. I rode hard and eventually shook off the shiver that had come to the back of my neck.
Last night I knew that I was there again. Out in the wilderness so to speak, I am somewhat alone there and the distance between me and normalcy is uncomfortable. I can see the danger of where I am and as I realized the similarity in my current circumstance and my long ago ride on the gulf I said, "God, bad things do happen to people in situations like that. People do have accidents, run out of gas, fall, and they even die." He said, "but you didn't." And He was right. It suddenly came to me that He is not trying to test my faith or help me overcome any fear, those are side items on His agenda. He is drawing me toward the adventure of stillness. How great is His presence when no other presence is available? How clear is His voice, when no other voice can reach me? How big are the opportunities that no one else is still enough to listen for?
Stillness isn't only a quiet place to commune with God, it is also the places we reach when we have dared to follow Him past our fear and pain. It is not the end of a journey, but it is definitely the most adventurous path to take.
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