Hello again! (It's Jana Dover) As I read your comments from my last post, I was elated to know why I felt led to share that with you all! God is so good! Sweet Mary has invited me to this party once again and to be honest with you, I kinda like the company here :) It's a difficult task for myself (major control issues) to know that I NEED to write something by a certain deadline, and yet wait on God to lead me. But my faithful Father didn't waste too much time this go-round, so, here we go!
Everyone has those moments when something is said that makes a light bulb go off. Maybe a sermon, maybe a song, maybe a conversation, or maybe just a word. Several months ago, our worship leader made an incredible statement that I will never forget. She said "Don't allow your problems to be exalted above what Jesus did on the cross." Wow. I believe it was this statement that led me to a thought that I will forever use in prayer...a thought that has since then become my personal family motto. It is this. "I will not allow what Jesus did on the cross to be done in vain." I will squeeze every ounce of Jesus' blood into every circumstance that life throws my way-it's too precious to waste. To fully understand this thought, you have to understand what his death (and resurrection) brings us! Look into his word! Sure, your first thought is salvation, but dig deeper than that. The word says that "He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5) Jesus' death was not just for us to have eternity in our hands. It was so that we could triumph over the devil in every area of life! He died for our sins. He died for our sicknesses. He died for our peace. He died for our health. And that's just from ONE scripture! He died to give us the power we need in every situation in life! And the word confirms this over and over again! He didn't have to, he CHOSE to. That brings up a whole notha' topic that I am certain will get me off track, so I'll stay here :)
Let's just look at one thing we are ALL experiencing this season: What do you do when sickness rolls through your family? Do you disrespect what he did for us (and wallow in your pathetic pity party) or do you exalt the cross above that sickness? Do you speak his word over your sickness? Do you get mad at the one who is attacking you? I can't tell you how many times I tell the devil, "What Jesus did will not be overlooked in our home!" I refuse to exalt life's problems above his crucifixion anymore. I've spent too much of my life acting as though his death didn't even happen! I know that we don't do it intentionally, but it's time that we exalt God's word over our own problems. "God, I don't care what my body is telling me...your word says that I am healed!" "I don't care what my situation says, your word says... _______." (you fill in the blank!) I am typing this passionately as my husband has just been diagnosed with the flu, my 9 month old has a runny nose...possible beginnings of the flu, and my soon-to-be-30 year old 'temple' is feeling some flu-like body aches. I'm not a naive believer that denies life's problems but I'll be darned if I'm going down without a true fight for my King and what HE did! The truth is, I expect health and healing to flow through my household because I believe what God's word tells me more than what my circumstance tells me. God wouldn't ask of us "in all things give thanks" (1 Thessalonians 5:18) if we didn't have a cross to exalt above every situation that life (and that petty devil) throws our way. His blood is too precious to waste. Use it.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I Am SAHM
Last night I watched a film with the boys about animals. It's called "Life" and it's made by BBC the same folks that made the series "Planet Earth." It's an amazing piece of art with camera work that is just astounding. The perspective given is sometimes breathtaking and I am continuously in awe of God's handiwork. His ability to create such diverse creatures and land forms and then to stage a balance in all of it.
The portion we watched last night had a segment on animal mothers. It was intriguing to see the work and sacrifice that some creatures go through just to bring their offspring into the world. One portion really struck me and the impression that landed on me first was, I think, a perspective from the Holy Spirit, maybe for some of you.
There is an octopus that lays her eggs in a small crevice or cave and never again leaves that space. She lives just long enough to protect and nourish her eggs, even maintaining her purpose in her last act as she blows water over them to help them hatch. She doesn't eat during this time and for as long as 50 days she guards her offspring. The narrator claimed that she doesn't eat at all during this period and therefore *starves herself to protect her young. As the eggs hatch, she lays dieing nearby and they leave the nest as fully formed, though very tiny, octopuses.
As I said, I was struck by this image of a mother sacrificing this way to bring her children into the world and I immediately was impressed that many women view the "SAHM" or "Stay at Home Mom" this way. She no longer gets out of the cave, she lives in the sheltered confines of a child driven home, full of only what it takes to raise cute little versions of herself. She never again lives with any thought for her own needs, but rather, she is wholly given to others. Not only are the tiny creatures she protects unaware of her sacrifice, there are no guarantees that they will ever appreciate it. They leave her. What is the point? Where is the reward?
I'm not going to spend a lot of time here saying you will have better kids if you stay home to raise them. I do believe that MY kids are better for having been home with me, but this article isn't about MY kids or even yours. This is about you.
I stay home as a mom because I believe it is the best thing for ME as well as them.
There are days it would be nice to drop my kids off with someone and spend my day in a well ordered work space that someone else cleans and maintains. There are days when I would like nothing more than to find a bit of satisfaction in a paycheck for what I do. There are days I would like to have a five o'clock. An end to my work day that signifies change and the ability to relinquish the bulk of the day's responsibility and drive to my home because home is where I relax, not where I work. But that is not what God has called me to and it is not typically what I want.
I have the great opportunity to see the moments my children are living. I see their wonder as they learn new things, I see their frustrations and their weaknesses, I see them at their best and I see them at their worst. I don't have all the answers, but I do have the perspective of knowing them best when their emotions get the better of them. I get to calm their fears, rock away their tired energy and join in their banter around the lunch table. I get to bandage their knees and put ice on their bumps. I get to play games with them and hear their songs and stories as they play.
I also get to discipline them. I get to ensure that issues are solved and punishments are dealt. I see first hand their shortcomings and their weaknesses and I get to teach them and build them up through encouragement, discipline and sometimes punishment. I get to weigh each situation they encounter, pray over it and be led by God in doling out the proper reciprocation. Yes, this is good for them, but it's good for me too. I don't wonder if someone else is leading my child astray, I don't question anyone else's judgment, I don't have to fear them coming home with unmet needs or confusion. They are mine and I am theirs and we deal with things as they come together.
I believe being a stay at home mom gives me a stronger bond with my husband. He trusts me. That's something I hold very dear to my heart. I respect him and his opinion very highly and I am honored that he trusts me with the care of our children. More than that, I am blessed to share the concerns and cares of our household with him. Very few things interrupt that united desire to see our children grow and thrive in our home. His work concerns and stresses are a necessary part of being the provider in our home. My concerns and stresses are not foreign to him because they are a part of my role as his helper. I am the representative of our family that manages our home and it's occupants. What I do is not a lone responsibility, it is a shared and highly prioritized mission. Were I to work outside the home, I am confident that he would care about what I do, but it would never be the same deep interest that we share in my work as caretaker in our family.
Lastly, I am not dying here. I am growing each day in my interests and desires, not just for my children but for my own calling as a daughter to a loving Heavenly Father. I am able to attend Bible studies and pick up the Word of God throughout quiet moments, planned and unplanned, throughout my day. I am able to hear from Him regarding my children and my husband yes, but about myself as well. He is quick to tell me His great regard for me and my abilities, as well as His dreams and vision for my future. He does not see me losing my youth for my children, He sees me gaining wisdom for His Kingdom purposes. I am alive and I thrive on the time I have to soak in the experiences of being a mom to little ones. They teach me and I am better for being with them.
Do not take this as a judgment on yourselves if it is impossible to stay home with your kids. That is NOT at all my intention. I simply want you to see the benefits should God open the door for you to be ABLE to do it. Let Him lead you, let Him comfort you, and let His patience in all of it bring you contentment and joy in your personal every day life. I know that not everyone is called to be a SAHM. I just don't want you to let any preconceived ideas, clouded opinions or deceived talk show hosts rob you of the opportunity that could be the best thing that's ever happened to you.
Walk wisely ladies, you are incredible women of God, doing great things for His kingdom. I'm looking forward to our coming Distaff Side retreat and making plans to share some wonderful things God is planting in my heart.
*According to Wikipedia "They neglect to eat during the (roughly) one month period spent taking care of their unhatched eggs, but they do not die of starvation. Endocrine secretions from the two optic glands are the cause of genetically programmed death (and if these glands are surgically removed, the octopus may live many months beyond reproduction, until she finally starves).
The portion we watched last night had a segment on animal mothers. It was intriguing to see the work and sacrifice that some creatures go through just to bring their offspring into the world. One portion really struck me and the impression that landed on me first was, I think, a perspective from the Holy Spirit, maybe for some of you.
There is an octopus that lays her eggs in a small crevice or cave and never again leaves that space. She lives just long enough to protect and nourish her eggs, even maintaining her purpose in her last act as she blows water over them to help them hatch. She doesn't eat during this time and for as long as 50 days she guards her offspring. The narrator claimed that she doesn't eat at all during this period and therefore *starves herself to protect her young. As the eggs hatch, she lays dieing nearby and they leave the nest as fully formed, though very tiny, octopuses.
As I said, I was struck by this image of a mother sacrificing this way to bring her children into the world and I immediately was impressed that many women view the "SAHM" or "Stay at Home Mom" this way. She no longer gets out of the cave, she lives in the sheltered confines of a child driven home, full of only what it takes to raise cute little versions of herself. She never again lives with any thought for her own needs, but rather, she is wholly given to others. Not only are the tiny creatures she protects unaware of her sacrifice, there are no guarantees that they will ever appreciate it. They leave her. What is the point? Where is the reward?
I'm not going to spend a lot of time here saying you will have better kids if you stay home to raise them. I do believe that MY kids are better for having been home with me, but this article isn't about MY kids or even yours. This is about you.
I stay home as a mom because I believe it is the best thing for ME as well as them.
There are days it would be nice to drop my kids off with someone and spend my day in a well ordered work space that someone else cleans and maintains. There are days when I would like nothing more than to find a bit of satisfaction in a paycheck for what I do. There are days I would like to have a five o'clock. An end to my work day that signifies change and the ability to relinquish the bulk of the day's responsibility and drive to my home because home is where I relax, not where I work. But that is not what God has called me to and it is not typically what I want.
I have the great opportunity to see the moments my children are living. I see their wonder as they learn new things, I see their frustrations and their weaknesses, I see them at their best and I see them at their worst. I don't have all the answers, but I do have the perspective of knowing them best when their emotions get the better of them. I get to calm their fears, rock away their tired energy and join in their banter around the lunch table. I get to bandage their knees and put ice on their bumps. I get to play games with them and hear their songs and stories as they play.
I also get to discipline them. I get to ensure that issues are solved and punishments are dealt. I see first hand their shortcomings and their weaknesses and I get to teach them and build them up through encouragement, discipline and sometimes punishment. I get to weigh each situation they encounter, pray over it and be led by God in doling out the proper reciprocation. Yes, this is good for them, but it's good for me too. I don't wonder if someone else is leading my child astray, I don't question anyone else's judgment, I don't have to fear them coming home with unmet needs or confusion. They are mine and I am theirs and we deal with things as they come together.
I believe being a stay at home mom gives me a stronger bond with my husband. He trusts me. That's something I hold very dear to my heart. I respect him and his opinion very highly and I am honored that he trusts me with the care of our children. More than that, I am blessed to share the concerns and cares of our household with him. Very few things interrupt that united desire to see our children grow and thrive in our home. His work concerns and stresses are a necessary part of being the provider in our home. My concerns and stresses are not foreign to him because they are a part of my role as his helper. I am the representative of our family that manages our home and it's occupants. What I do is not a lone responsibility, it is a shared and highly prioritized mission. Were I to work outside the home, I am confident that he would care about what I do, but it would never be the same deep interest that we share in my work as caretaker in our family.
Lastly, I am not dying here. I am growing each day in my interests and desires, not just for my children but for my own calling as a daughter to a loving Heavenly Father. I am able to attend Bible studies and pick up the Word of God throughout quiet moments, planned and unplanned, throughout my day. I am able to hear from Him regarding my children and my husband yes, but about myself as well. He is quick to tell me His great regard for me and my abilities, as well as His dreams and vision for my future. He does not see me losing my youth for my children, He sees me gaining wisdom for His Kingdom purposes. I am alive and I thrive on the time I have to soak in the experiences of being a mom to little ones. They teach me and I am better for being with them.
Do not take this as a judgment on yourselves if it is impossible to stay home with your kids. That is NOT at all my intention. I simply want you to see the benefits should God open the door for you to be ABLE to do it. Let Him lead you, let Him comfort you, and let His patience in all of it bring you contentment and joy in your personal every day life. I know that not everyone is called to be a SAHM. I just don't want you to let any preconceived ideas, clouded opinions or deceived talk show hosts rob you of the opportunity that could be the best thing that's ever happened to you.
Walk wisely ladies, you are incredible women of God, doing great things for His kingdom. I'm looking forward to our coming Distaff Side retreat and making plans to share some wonderful things God is planting in my heart.
*According to Wikipedia "They neglect to eat during the (roughly) one month period spent taking care of their unhatched eggs, but they do not die of starvation. Endocrine secretions from the two optic glands are the cause of genetically programmed death (and if these glands are surgically removed, the octopus may live many months beyond reproduction, until she finally starves).
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