Abundant Redemption

Recently I went through a rather rough day. I got a traffic ticket for failure to stop at a stop sign. To tell you the truth, that's the extent of it. That's all it took to take an otherwise good day and make it a rough one for me. I hate that. I look back on that day and pretty much all of it fades into oblivion except for that ticket. I do remember that it was a Wednesday and that I was on my way to church when it happened.

Church was just right for me. Turns out Pastor Davis shared a lot about grace. Probably because he got a speeding ticket that morning. As silly as it may be, that made me feel a little bit better.

That night on the way home Owen kept insisting that we look for the International Space Station. I told Owen to ask his dad to look it up for him. Kris knew that the Space Station typically flies over our area of the world during the wee hours of the morning so he was surprised, once he obliged Owen, to find that we were mere minutes away from it's scheduled orbit. He called to me upstairs where I was just getting the boy's pajamas out and said we should go outside to see it. So the whole family scrambled for shoes and stood out in the middle of the street in front of our house and looked to the western sky.

Kris said, "There it is!" and it wasn't hard to pick out the moving light that appeared out of nowhere. The boys were uncommonly quiet. I held Aron whose favorite position is to rest his cheek against mine while I'm holding him. He and I stared at the sky as I pointed his eyes in the right direction with my finger. Owen and Ivan were standing at their daddy's feet with their eyes wide and their mouths open looking at distances they have no way of fathoming. I was content. I was almost emotional as I shared that moment with my little family. I stood there and thought to God and to myself. This ought to help redeem this day.

He responded.

I guess I was a little surprised that He was listening, though by now I shouldn't be. And I did get emotional when I heard, "How much redemption do you need?"

It wasn't a sarcastic question. There was no admonition or conviction. It was an offer. As if He were just waiting for someone to ask Him for it. As if He was excited that I had asked Him for something He has so much of and is so willing to give.

I just stood there and wept. "I don't know," I thought. I just knew I needed it.

Over and over again, I need it. We talked about restoration and redemption at our weekend retreat and I get it. I mean, I know that He can do things in me and through me that on my own I'm incapable of. I know that He can fix what's broken in me and that He can make me more than just acceptable, He can make me desirable. I guess what floors me sometimes is not that He changes me, it's that He changes everything. He doesn't just forgive me and lead me to the right path. He makes the path a little bit heavenly. He has unending resources of comfort, peace and security that redeem not just the life I've controlled and failed at, but the tomorrow I should have had is turned into a tomorrow He had planned all along.

I still have to pay my ticket. It's sitting right here in front of me. Those consequences do not change, but He wants to get me past the humiliation, He wants to give me daily proof that I am not someone who deserves to be humiliated. He renews daily, as I die daily.

Salvation came to me as a little girl on my knees. I accepted it and haven't doubted it since. Redemption is an endless supply of mercy that salvation purchased for me. It is a well I drink from as often as I choose. It never runs dry, it never gets stale, warm or bitter. Living water is sweet, cool and refreshing. It is constantly renewing and available.

So often though, I choose to attempt redemption on my own. Little comforts and distractions get me through for a while but nothing refreshes like God's mercy and forgiveness. I am realizing more and more the freedom we have in releasing our hurts, cares, mistakes and blunders to His abundant mercy.

I read Psalm 40 last night and found a lasting comfort, redemption if you will, in these words:
" 13 Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me;
O LORD, make haste to help me!
14 Let them be ashamed and brought to mutual confusion
Who seek to destroy my life;
Let them be driven backward and brought to dishonor
Who wish me evil.
15 Let them be confounded because of their shame,
Who say to me, “Aha, aha!”

16 Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let such as love Your salvation say continually,
“The LORD be magnified!”
17 But I am poor and needy;
Yet the LORD thinks upon me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Do not delay, O my God."

The Psalmist is so aware of His position. Like him, we are constantly in the eye of our Deliverer, constantly within reach of His mercy. We do not receive it though, unless we are willing to look up from the slightest care and say..."I need you."

"I lost my temper with the kids again Lord, I need your redemption."

"I did nothing but complain to my husband today Lord, I need your redemption."

"I haven't got the strength to get through another day of discouragement Lord, I need your redemption."

"I can't take another outburst from these people, I need your redemption."

"This child will not be listen to me, I need your redemption."

"My husband is unwilling to surrender to your will, I need your redemption."

"I can't change this! I need your redemption."

Sometimes God's goal in our lives is not to provide a green pasture for us, sometimes His desire is for us to trust Him through the dark valley. His redemption is not just for our mistakes, it's for our circumstances our offenses and our pain. He can redeem wasted time, harsh words, fallen dreams and ruined relationships. But He can only do it with our permission.

Realize what the Psalmist wrote: "Yet the Lord thinks upon me." He's watching, waiting for your request, your vulnerable plea and your trust in what He can do.

I love this verse: "Also draw out the spear, and stop those who pursue me. Say to my soul, “I am your salvation.” " Psalm 35:3

He's asking God to be his hero. We don't do that enough. We don't look to our God and just tell Him what we want. The Psalmist isn't just asking God to show up, he says, "convince me!" He wants God to do more than just stop the enemy, he wants a lasting conviction within his soul, that there is nothing else that can save him. "I am your salvation." How desperately God desires to tell us those words.

The next time things don't go your way, don't fret, don't whine and don't complain, listen for your Redeemer. When you need redemption don't be shy, He is asking you with an eager heart and a generous love, "How much do you need?"