To Be Known

We are, in our deepest parts, much the same. We were created in the image of an almighty God so our parts are similar. Our make up is subtly different, yet parallel to one another. It is not hard to generalize, stereotype and group ourselves or others into one class, race, creed or another. We fight against these things and we do this for a reason. We are individuals. We each have things that make us different, that cause us to stick out precariously from the mold that others might try to fit us into. The ironic thing about our uniqueness is that each of us has the same general desire: we all want to be known in our individuality.

That is not to say we all want to stand out in a crowd, but we don't want to always be lumped into one in regard to our opinions, our strengths and weaknesses and our desires. It is a God given desire within us to be known, understood and treated with respect and love.

In the book "Intimacy: The Longing of Every Human Heart" Terry Hershey talks about our need to be known as a need for significance and belonging. "...these needs are common to all of us. As they provide us pictures of our souls, we see both our desire and our capacity for intimacy. We see both the joy that comes with affirmation and the fear of failure and rejection."

Our desire to be known is truly a desire to find a real and honest intimacy. We want to know God and we want Him to know us. We say this, believe this and even pray toward this, but most of us do not have what it takes to get there.

One of the most important tools of intimacy is vulnerability. But we see vulnerability as a weakness, it is synonymous with fear for us, fear of being rejected, fear of failure, even fear of being known and loved because of the disappointment we might be to someone else. So we go through processes as we grow up to protect ourselves, we fashion masks, we build walls, we produce emotional muscles that can carry great weights of sorrow, pain and shame and we do this so well that no one else is even allowed close to our burdens. We smile and say..."I'm good...I got it."

But we don't.

Again from Terry Hershey's book: "I believe these fears are rooted in a more basic fear: our fear of God."

What? I thought we were supposed to fear God, isn't that the beginning of wisdom and understanding and all that? But we don't have a healthy fear of God we walk in an unhealthy understanding. We don't fear missing out on what He has for us, we fear that we won't like what He has for us. What did the serpent say to Eve in the garden?

"Then the serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'” Genesis 3:4-5

Our temptations to lock up vulnerability behind bars is the same temptation Eve faced in the beginning. She wanted control. She wanted to be the master and dictator of her own life and direct her own steps. She wanted to be her own god.

Once we have established ourselves as god we can no longer allow ourselves to be given anything, we must get for ourselves. Instead of relying on God for our provision, we are competing with Him and others in the harvest. Taking as much as we can and hoarding our bounty for any approaching drought. As a person who cannot receive, we are unable to enjoy grace, redemption or any other gift that Christ provided for us. In that sense we are banking our good points and hiding our bad. We become religious instead of relational and calculating instead of content.

Most of you are probably reading this thinking, wow that is so true, I'm glad I'm not like that. Stop and read this again. If you are incapable of applying these things or questioning your success or failure, you are probably a prime example of what I'm describing here. Vulnerability requires you to examine yourself and more importantly it requires you to allow God to examine you. It requires you to do this regularly. I am speaking as someone who has to be reminded of these truths regularly. I don't write these things because I've arrived, I write them because they are fresh from recent application.

David on the other hand, was a beautiful example of intimacy with God. Look at Psalm 139 (edited for length):

1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

He pleads with God to know him, to search him out and to try him. To know his fears and his deepest and most hidden faults. Why? Not so he can make a list and apply 10 principles of perfection. He does it because he wants to be led. Nowhere does it say, fix me. It says lead me! Lead me! If a man, even a king can say those words...by golly we girls aught to be able to say them.

David understood that all that darkness that may still be lingering in the depths of his heart was not his obstacle to being known, it was his obstacle to being perfectly positioned in the great plan God had for him. Are you struggling financially? Are you baffled by the thought of where you belong in ministry? Are you frustrated in your marriage? Are you confused as a parent? Stop trying to fix it, stop waiting for God to count your points and give you your deserved blessing. Instead, begin confessing the truth.

I am not God. (no really...say it out loud..."I am not God.") I need God. I am a child of God. Children depend. Children are led. Children need a hand now and then.

Just this morning I was reciting the words of Psalm 1 as I prayed over my husband and my sons. These few words brought tears to my eyes as I realized a greater significance in them. "for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly shall perish." Ps. 1:6

Don't let that speak to your need to be righteous. Let it sink in as the truth that YOU ARE RIGHTEOUS. He knows what you need, He knows where you are, and He knows how to lead you in the way everlasting. The way everlasting is your ticket to freedom. It's your straight and narrow avenue toward peace and prosperity as your relationships are healed and your destiny is brought into clearer focus. The way everlasting means what you do matters. It will last. It will have value beyond a paycheck.

Take time to worship Him this week. A few of you will be single parents while your husbands are off camping. Use those quiet evenings to meditate on His great love for you and tell Him who He is to you. Read Psalm 139, Psalm 18, Psalm 84 and read them with fresh eyes that are looking for the opportunity to be vulnerable with your God. You will not regret it!

Until you can be vulnerable with perfect love, a love that already knows you and continues to love you regardless, you cannot be vulnerable with the love of any human. Start here!